i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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