we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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