Me too!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
