Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
