Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
