I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
