My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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