Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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