Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
