I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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