All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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