the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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