i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
