Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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