How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
