why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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