Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
