Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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