my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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