he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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