cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
