Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
