I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
