I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sponge bath it is.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
