Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
