Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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