the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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