just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
