is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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