First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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