can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
