she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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