the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
