three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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