You really coming over, don't trick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
