So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
