your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
