Cold hands, warm shart.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
