Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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