Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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