thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
