I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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