We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
