I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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