Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
