I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
