I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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