He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
