I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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