Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
